Healing in hurting
Hi people,
Where to start? I guess I’ll begin with what’s on my mind. I’ve recently separated from my partner of 9.5 years. I was with her since I was 17, and tonight I am overwhelmed with tears (even as I write). I have spent the last few months coming to terms with what we had been aware of for quite some time. We did so many things so well. We laughed lots and gave each other the space to grow. I guess in this growing, somewhere we grew apart. It was never my intention for our relationship to end like this. I thought we would grow old together…
I have a lot of guilt over what I could have done differently. I could have been more of a ‘provider’, and taken more time to slow down and stop striving for someday. There is a lot that I wish I had and hadn’t done. Still, no one taught me the things that I lacked, and to only concentrate on the ending of a relationship doesn’t do justice to the journey that was/is the relationship. We will remain close friends, but right now I just feel an overwhelming sense of loss. To the person that I am referring to, thank you for all the love and freedom you have offered me all these years. Your love will remain an integral part of me and I will never forget your generosity to me, or the privilege of spending nearly 10 years in a committed relationship with you.
